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'Top-Life Crisis' and We Have a Winner!


I discovered this story in a file and don't remember what prompted me to write it.

I hope it brings a smile to your face!

After this short story you'll find a link to I'm Dashing's race! Yay!


Top-Life Crisis


Henry decided it was time to clear up his workshop. Gloria thought it was thirty years past due. She’d had several near-death experiences merely trying to find a screwdriver. And the inevitable path of sawdust trailed behind her once she’d retreated—often in defeat.

There had been several failed attempts at clearing up before. But this time, Henry actually committed some of his savings to buy what he considered essentials for doing the job right. He spent hours in his sagging leather armchair pouring over the Pee Hill catalogue. Gloria noticed Henry’s beard twitching and hands trembling as he marked several of the pages.

Conversation was reduced.

Henry’s hairy hands—well, his one finger—carefully pressed the computer keys to send his order via the internet. It shocked Gloria that he didn’t visit the store. Although she welcomed the prospect of a tidy workshop, she worried that Henry may be going through a top-life crisis.

A couple of days later, Henry found a note taped to the gate. It demanded signed authorization so the Purosooner driver could leave a package in the bus shelter (built by Henry), otherwise it would have to be picked up in Toronto. Apparently, it was too much to ask the driver to come up the driveway.

The box arrived safely the next day, but the packing slip indicated that several items were outstanding. After lots of puffing and blowing, pulling and ripping, Henry resorted to a knife to cut the tape, allowing millions of Styrofoam chunks to take off in various directions. His persistence eventually revealed a wall-mountable storage system for screws and hinges.

When Henry immediately installed and filled the system, Gloria’s frustration with the gravity-defying, electrostatically charged Styrofoam chunks evaporated.

Three more boxes arrived filled with Styrofoam chunks hiding such items as shelves and tool holders—all immediately installed and filled.

By now, Henry was walking more upright, humming in the shower, stroking the cat, and even giving Gloria a kiss on the cheek now and then.

Gloria was in a flutter.

The last box was the one Henry was especially excited about. This was the largest, but the lightest. In Henry’s excitement, Styrofoam chunks whirled blizzard-like all around him. Even the cat had some stuck to her—sadly the novelty of playing with them had worn off.

Inside, Henry unearthed another smaller box which proved harder to open. Despite using a knife, Henry had beads of sweat on his forehead. Gloria couldn’t remember the last time Henry had put so much effort into anything.

Finally, it was open. Henry pulled out a folded piece of shiny, multi-coloured plastic. He asked Gloria where the old pump was. She had no idea.

He found a small protrusion and started blowing into it.

Gloria’s eyebrows reached their highest limits.

“What is it?” she stammered.

“It’s an inflatable window with a view of a beautiful tropical beach.” Henry took a gulp of air. “I can’t possibly work in that basement without a window.”


Copyright Vicky Earle 2022


We Have a Winner!


I'm Dashing had a tough race, as you'll see if you click on the link. He was last at the beginning and then he was 'boxed in' behind horses, and it didn't look as if he'd be able to get out of the jam he was in. But a gap opened up and you'll notice how brave he was (especially since he'd been rammed from both sides soon after he left the gate in an earlier race).

He was pretty pleased with himself afterwards!

We are proud of him and grateful to Darwin Banach's team and the jockey Slade Jones.

(He is #4 and has white blinkers).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1Hcf9wAnjI

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